


you're not alone

by winterfalconwarrior



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, I Don't Even Know, I'm anxious so I made sam anxious, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson Feels, also, but bucky is taking care of you so you're all good, ily buddy, sam is anxious, sorry Sam, they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 11:11:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18737860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterfalconwarrior/pseuds/winterfalconwarrior
Summary: "you don't have to deal with this alone, I'm right here with you."post endgame, bucky comes home to an apartment that is really quit. and dark.and maybe someone in this apartment is really insecure about the things that happened.yeah. bucky is not having any of that.





	you're not alone

**Author's Note:**

> hello again, I'm back and I've been anxious as hell for the past few days so I decided to try and write again. I swear that this was supposed to be all soft and shit but you know what, my anxious ass decided that they're not allowed to be happy when I'm not. so now it's sad, but somehow still soft.  
> anyway, sam getting the shield is legit all I ever wanted and I can't believe that I won this round. I really hope marvel doesn't fuck shit up with the upcoming show about sam and bucky because I'm hyped and they're not allowed to let me down.

When Bucky closes the door behind him, the apartment is silent. the curtains are drawn closed and the lights are out. Bucky still knows that he's not home alone. He loses his shoes and his jacket on his way to the kitchen just to find it empty too. The tv in the living room is on mute, but plays the news about the new captain america over and over again. A bad day today, then. Bucky walks around the couch, seeing the other man curled up in a blanket. He doesn't move, so Bucky sits down beside him.  
“hey sweetheart”, he whispers to the human blanket burrito next to him, “I'm home.”  
Sam turns around, pulling the blanket away from his face to look at Bucky. “thought you'd be back in a week”, he says, his voice hoarse. Bucky doesn't answer, just looks at him for a long moment, then looks at the tv before he turns it off.  
“yeah, change of plans”, he answers, “I missed you.”  
Sam just moves to put his head in Bucky's lap. Bucky's hand comes up to gently massage Sam's scalp, while the other one moves to draw small circles on Sam's arm.  
“wanna talk about it?”, he asks. Sometimes, Sam feels like talking, but most times he just wants to cuddle.  
“you know, I just feel like I don't deserve it, Buck”, Sam says, leaning into the touch, “he just left it with me, he left his stupid shield with me and I'm supposed to be captain america when I really can't do this. They all expect Steve to walk out in his star spangled outfit, ready to face the danger and not me.” His breathing gets shorter, he looks up at Bucky with a panicked look in his eyes. Bucky grabs Sam's hand, squeezing it. “breathe with me, honey”, he says, watching as Sam tries to match his breathing with Bucky's. “that's it, there you go.” Sam squeezes his hand back. “Look at this mess, how am I supposed to fix this? Hell, I don't know if I'm ready to leave the fucking house. Have you ever noticed how loud it is outside?” Bucky has. He knows how overwhelming it can get. He knows that Sam knows that, too. Sam looks like he wants to hide under the blanket forever, hiding away from the world and the people and their opinions on him. Sam lets out a humorless laugh. “I should be there for you, he left you too and you knew each other for like 1000 years and yet you're the one who is there for me and I'm just sorry, Buck, I really, really am.” he sighs. He looks so tired, so small.  
“you know that you're not my therapist, right?”, Bucky says, “you're not. You're allowed to be sad. You're allowed to be scared. But Steve thought about this. He thought about everything you did and everything you're gonna do and he decided that you're the one who should have this shield. And everyone is gonna see the same thing he saw as soon as you're out there, ready to kick ass.”  
Sam looks up at him now. “you're a sap”, he says, tears in his eyes.  
“yeah but I'm your sap”, Bucky grins, “and I love you and you are allowed to have bad days, where you think being cap doesn't suit you, but in the end, the world deserves captain america and you deserve to be the one the kids look up to.”  
Sam wipes at his eyes, then proceeds to put his arm over his eyes.  
“captain america is allowed to cry, you know?”, Bucky say, gently guiding Sam's arm away from his face, “you gotta know, his boyfriend is a mess too.”  
“oh my god”, Sam all but groans, “shut your mouth.”  
“nah, I'm allowed to tell the love of my life that he's allowed to be a hot mess sometimes”, Bucky says, wiping the tears away from Sam's face, “you feeling better?”  
Sam looks like he thinks about it for a moment, but then he shakes his head, “it's just, I really don't feel like being happy and a hero and all that today”, he says, tearing his eyes away from Bucky, “I feel like it's all too much and I really don't wanna deal with any of it.” he turns, hides his face in Bucky's shirt.  
“you don't have to”, Bucky says, voice low. He pulls a second blanket from the end of the couch to put it around the both of them, “you don't have to deal with that today. And you don't have to deal with this alone, Sammy. Never. I'm right here with you.”  
He pulls Sam into his lap, then. Places a soft kiss on his forehead, “you're not alone, sweetheart.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! I'm still trying to find my way back to really being happy with what I wrote, but I only can when I share this and see what you think about it. I'm always trying to do better and I think I can do a lot better, but I'm getting there.


End file.
